I am a sucker for the Olympics. Especially the summer ones. The whole world comes together, and we cheer for each other. We cheer for our favorites (I’m looking at you, Simone Biles), and we cheer for those people who are happy to be there that are literally hours behind the pack. Because they showed up. They worked diligently. They pursued their dreams. As a kid I would watch gymnastics in my swimsuit and roll around the living room, standing and holding my arms in a V, doing my best Mary Lou Retton. Now, as an adult, I cry every time the American flag is raised and I hear the National Anthem. No longer with my arms in a V, but hand over heart. And I am even more amazed. Because how in the world are they doing it? How do these young men and women navigate the pursuit of their ambition with life? How do they finish school, have friends, do chores, and spend all day long at the gym? Surely, we don’t have to have Simone’s balancing skills to master the ever-elusive work/life balance.

We are one week into my kids being home from school, and I can tell you that I am drowning. Working full time from home with four kids here with no school to distract them, and well, people, Michael Phelps I am not. But at MPWRSource, we believe in strategy. That to go forth and simply react is foolishness. Success requires planning. So…with a GIANT grain of salt, I submit to you my following summer 2021 plans for getting a gold medal in the work/life balance Olympics.

Tips for Managing Work/Life Balance

Do Not Compete

Wait, what? How can I earn a gold medal if I do not compete? So here is where I tell you that there are not actually trophies given out in this category. That’s right. There are no trophies given out when on the same day your slide deck is flawless and there are no dirty dishes in the sink. My task is to do the best I can each day within the context I am in. Maybe that mom on Facebook I keep comparing myself to has a house cleaner, and so of course her house is always clean. She is paying for it. Maybe that guy who seems to be always hitting the links isn’t posting about the weekends he works or the late nights he spends in front of his laptop. It’s also true that the comparison Olympics are a farce because what you see on social media is the clean kitchen, and perhaps not the yelled at kids to get it that way.

Triage

Choose what matters. Every task, be it a deliverable for work or a request from a family member, is not an emergency. So, triage and stop the bleeding wounds first.

This morning Manic Maple tasked me with a pretty big task. Something that will probably take me a good 20 hours. My knee jerk reaction was anxiety. No way I could complete it now with everything else on my work plate, much less the 4 kids who are determined to eat me out of house and home and text me every gif imaginable ranging from cuddly panda bears to Kermit the frog twerking. (Seriously, why?????)

I breathed and counted to five, thinking, “How and when am I going to do this? I have this due for a client. And this thing, too.” And then I thought about my weekend plans and imagined having to cancel because, apparently, now I am working. But by the time I finished counting to 5, I remembered to triage. I would complete the must-do-now tasks, and then, and only then, get to the new big task. I messaged Manic Maple that I would get to work on the new task AFTER I finished completing what I was doing.

And guess what? Not only did she not die but messaged me back “Sounds great.”

This also comes to play regarding relating to my children. Their urgent need for Roblux does not need to be met immediately. They will not actually die of starvation if I don’t buy more DiGiorno RIGHT NOW. Allow me to introduce you to one of my favorite parenting hacks. It’s a simple phrase, “Please wait for me to think on this. If you need an answer now, the answer is no. But if you can wait until I am not in the middle of something, I will consider it.” At first it was met with under the breath grumblings and stomps of feet. Now? Most of the time they ask, “Is now a good time?”

Another note on triage: if you find yourself constantly surrounded by only bleeding wounds, you may want to read the next item.

Mind Your Boundaries

Simone must stay in that square box for her floor routine. Michael had lane lines to keep him in his swimming in his lane. In the Olympics, the boundaries are clear, agreed upon, and static. Oh, how it were so in the “real world.” But alas, dear reader, the gift (curse?) of adulthood is that we set our own boundaries.

Now that you’ve triaged both at work and in your personal life, know and mind your boundaries. And let the chips fall where they may. Some weeks, yes, a project will be due, and you will have to toggle your boundaries. But let those be outliers. Because if your focus is only triaging work items, your family will suffer. Your relationships will suffer. Your soul with suffer.

You have to take care of yourself first. Always. Just like they tell you on an airplane, mind your own oxygen mask first before tending to those around you. You cannot adequately work if your heart is with your aching child. You cannot be present for that aching child if your mind is on a spreadsheet. You cannot be present for your partner if all they see at the dinner table is the top of your head while you are on your work phone. You cannot be present for anyone if you’re sleep deprived and running only on diet Dr. Pepper and PopCorners (as a completely random and oddly specific example).

This may mean you wake up earlier to get in a few hours of uninterrupted work before your house awakes. This may mean telling your boss you can’t make a dinner meeting at 6pm because you need to feed your kids. But here is the thing: when you let others know your boundaries up front, they are usually respected. Because you setting your boundaries lets folks know where their foot will be out of bounds. And they will get to let you know their boundaries and y’all can each stay in your own lane. And when everyone can stay in their own lane? Well, there tends to be less blood in the water.

Teamwork

One of the best parts of the Olympics is the comradery. I keep trying to tell Manic Maple that we all need matching outfits. I’m thinking something like the 2014 Norwegian Men’s Curling team. But even without matching outfits, every champion has help. A coach. A trainer. A cheerleader. Someone to pass off to.

I have already mentioned that there are no trophies, but there are high fives and pass offs and pinch hitters. You get to say, “I can do this, but I need help with that.” Delegate what you can. You may have subordinates at work itching for the opportunity to get out on the field and show you what they are made of. Remember the sage advice of everyone’s favorite sports coach, Ted Lasso, and make the extra pass.

Let Your Best Be Your Best and Then Go to Sleep

This seems so obvious. And yet, I know I cannot be the only person who wants everything at work to be flawless and my children to be well loved and clean and respectful and not burp the alphabet in front of their grandparents.

But I am human. And if I get stuck on every time I send an email without an attachment or every time I order pizza for my kids because I got held up at work and from scratch Cherry Glazed Pork Chops was too much for my addled brain to manage, then I would sink. Taking another note from Coach Lasso, I have to remember to “Be a goldfish.” They’re the happiest of animals because they have a ten second memory. The note is to let things go and start fresh.

Let your best, be your best. Then go to sleep.

And take another stab at it tomorrow.

You may not win a gold medal, but you’ll still probably be golden.