A Work Culture for Humans
My alarm went off this morning at 6. Like it usually does. And I pressed snooze. Twice. Like I...
Inclusivity is not just in the words we use. In fact, if our actions are not inclusive, then even the most stringent inclusive lexicon is just lip service. For an organization to be fully inclusive, it should be intentionally so in its hiring, rewarding, teambuilding, and working practices. The aim is not just for corporate lingo to be inclusive, but its culture as well.
It also means your organization should create a feeling of openness so that when slip ups happen (because they will), they can be addressed and dealt with graciously. To that end, I humbly submit to you my most recent blunder. Yep. I am going to open the kimono and tell you of the time that I, Word Girl, was not inclusive. You’ll see my fumble and I’ll also show you the reconciliation that came from its being addressed. I share this not only to affirm that things will happen, but also to hopefully spread light on how we can address how best to include members of our team who may be at a heightened risk to Covid-19. Because we are all in new territory here.
Recently, we had a new member join our creative team. (Shout out to the impeccably talented Web Designer, Jack Stob). We were holding a creative team meeting and not only were myself, our graphic and digital designer Matt (The Knife) and Jack (yet to be named) in attendance, but so was our boss, Tiffany. That’s right—the creative team and our Chief Growth Officer. You may call that person the Big Kahuna in your organization. In this superhero lair, she goes by the name Manic Maple.
As these meetings tend to go as of late, it was a video conference call. Relaxed and laughing, we each were sussing out one another’s personalities and talents. Introducing ourselves and discussing work and life and pets and kids and what we like to do in our free time. It became apparent that all of us on the creative team enjoy hanging out at the many breweries here in RVA. So, I suggested that at some point, we hold a creative meeting over a pint at a brewery.
Then suddenly it got quiet. Because back up, what I said was, “The three of us should have a meeting over a pint.”
But there were four people in the meeting.
And as soon as I said it, I paused. My mind began to scramble. I thought, “Ack. I want to have a meeting without the boss, but how do I word it?”
Well, in the immortal words of comedian Mike Burbiglia, “What I should’ve said…was nothing.”
But I am Word Girl, so I said words. And lots of them.
My thoughts were thus: Dang it. How do I say I don’t want the boss to come and give us more tasks and let us just bond and brainstorm and be a creative team. I can’t just say, “you’re the boss” that sounds too much like “Cool kids only.” Then I remembered that Manic Maple doesn’t drink. But she could technically have water or tea and Cool kids notwithstanding, not drinking is perfectly acceptable and nothing someone should be excluded for. So what? Oh, I know! Covid! Tiffany has severe asthma and really ought to just stay home until a vaccine is ready.
Do you see where my mind was going with this?
Again, what I should have said…was nothing.
What did I say?
“Oh, I just mean the Creative Team. Tiffany, you shouldn’t come because, you know, you’d get sick.”
Y’all. Y’all.
First, and foremost, I made two blunders. The first of which was extending an invitation in front of someone for whom it was not intended. And we have known that this sort of thing is rude since birthday party invitations were first handed out in elementary school. It gets tricky here because in normal circumstances (read: pre-Covid-19) this meeting would’ve occurred in the office and I could’ve invited the team out for drinks as we were leaving the welcome meeting or gathering around the snacks. So, we will cut myself a tad bit of slack because all of this is new and video chats are weird. What I should have done was simply post meeting reached out to Jack and Matt via Teams and said “BREWEEEEEERY! Who’s in?”
But the second blunder is what is the real problem. I excluded Tiffany not because she was the boss (which is a totally valid reason), but I “othered” her in her disability. I basically said “Seat Taken” to the kid who was differently abled. I made her asthma the thing that excludes her. And let me be clear here: to exclude someone from an activity based upon their health or able-bodiedness is wrong.
I could and should have course corrected. I should have said, “What I mean is that it would be great for the Creative Team to gather together in a relaxed environment so that we can bond and brainstorm. Tiffany, would you be okay with us doing that? You have many great ideas, but I think we’d be more free without our boss around, Mice will play when the cat’s away, and all that jazz.”
We are facing a bit of a dilemma here considering there may be team members for whom re-opening and more opportunities to get out and about is not an option. Employees for whom working from home is their only safe option. So, what do we do?
For starters, always invite. Always. Even if you know the invitation will be rejected, invite.
Second, in as much as it is in your power to do so, make accommodations so that your employees can be included safely. Have team members with peanut allergies? Don’t order the Pad Thai with peanut satay sauce for the corporate Christmas party. Be aware of the needs of your teammates and make sure that all can attend work events safely.
Third, when an in-person meeting is required, make virtual attendance an option utilizing Face Time or Teams or Zoom. If the meeting is a social one, make sure that if someone cannot attend for safety reasons, face time them to let them know you miss them and DO NOT CONDUCT BUSINESS in their absence. To exclude someone from a social event is not a problem. These things happen, but you cannot make work unsafe.
Fourth, when someone messes up, hopefully you have cultivated an inclusive culture that allows for humanity.
Tiffany later reached out to me, laughing. She said, “Elizabeth, yesterday when you told me I couldn’t come to the Creative Meeting because I am sickly, I felt really othered.” I apologized and we laughed at my internal dialogue that even included me knowing the right answer but choosing the wrong one. We chatted about the lack of water cooler conversations and how virtual meetings DO make the necessary bonding between employees wonky. She forgave me. Affirmed that it was appropriate for us to have our own meetings without her and that mistakes were okay and happen. Then I joked about how I should just probably write about the whole blunder to give some teeth to what inclusivity really looks like in the workplace. And she said, “INCLUDE IT.”